Jacob & Rachel

Feb 1

The Love Story You’ve Never Heard

Few biblical relationships are spoken of with more romantic reverence than that of Jacob and Rachel. We hear of it in sermons, devotionals, and wedding homilies. Jacob and Rachel are often presented as the love story of the Torah: love at first sight, perseverance through deception, fourteen years of sacrificial labor, tragedy in the end. The story rivals modern romance movies and literature. Rachel is the symbol of beauty and desire. Jacob is Scripture’s great romantic hero.

This idealized narrative is powerful because it resonates deeply with what we all want—to love and to be loved. We, of course, know that things in life are rarely, if ever, ideal. When we read a story from the Bible, we mistakenly consider it to be the quintessential version of that type of story. We think this because we hold the Bible in such esteem. So, with Jacob and Rachel, we think of the ideal romance. Thankfully the Scripture doesn’t mince words. It is brutally honest about character flaws, family dysfunction, jealousy, and selfish motivations (which is truly why the Bible is relatable). Sometimes we have to learn these things, not by what the Bible says, but by what the Bible does not say.

We read of Jacob’s unwavering love for Rachel:

Now Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.” … So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her.

Genesis 29:18, 20

What a faithful man! Jacob is a man so devoted to his love that time itself bends under the weight of his affection. Jacob is clearly the Biblical model of romantic devotion, and Rachel is the recipient of that affection. But when we read the Jacob–Rachel narrative carefully, without rose-colored glasses of modern romantic assumptions, something is missing. An uncomfortable realization emerges.

The Bible Never Says Rachel Loved Jacob

Mutual affection is assumed simply because the relationship exists. Not once in the Bible is she portrayed as loving Jacob in the way that Jacob loved her. Every word and action of Rachel that is recorded for us tells a different story. Why is this? This article will examine every passage that mentions Rachel, not to vilify her, but to let Scripture define the story as it truly is. And in doing so, we will discover a sobering mirror of ourselves—and a powerful picture of God’s unwavering covenant love.

1. The Kiss at the Well — Affection Unreturned

To set the stage, Jacob’s brother, Esau, was ready to kill him for receiving the birthright blessing from their father, so he was sent away by his father, Isaac, and mother, Rebecca, to find a wife from his mother’s family. The wives of Esau had been a grief to the family because they never identified with Isaac and Rebecca and caused constant strife, so returning to where his mother and grandmother, Sarah, were from seemed like a wise course of action.

I also need to reframe something for you. Jacob was no younger than 71 years old at this time. To know this, you have to start in Genesis 47:9 when Jacob is meeting Pharaoh at 130 years old and count backwards (See timeline below: Start on the right and work your way back). Because of average lifespans at the time, even at 71 he would have appeared middle-aged, while Rachel would have been a much younger maiden. Jacob was not a young shepherd boy like many imagine.

Jacob arrived at a well in Paddan Aram. There, he met the other shepherds and was informed that they do not move the stone from the well until all the shepherds arrive. That is when Rachel first arrives.

And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother, that Jacob went near and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother’s brother. Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept. And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s relative and that he was Rebekah’s son…

Genesis 29:10–12a

This was love at first sight. Jacob’s removal of the stone—normally requiring multiple shepherds—signals both physical strength and intentional action. His kiss and public weeping are quite a display of overwhelming emotional vulnerability. Despite this show of emotion or the impressive feat of strength, Rachel’s response is notably unfocused on Jacob:

And she ran and told her father.

Genesis 29:12 KJV

I don’t think that’s the exact response Jacob was hoping for (maybe he should have left out the part about him being her cousin). The text does not record any reciprocal affection, verbal response, or emotional engagement. While cultural modesty may be the reason for Rachel’s withdrawal, she has no response directed at Jacob. Jacob moves toward Rachel in openness; Rachel moves away from Jacob and toward her father. This establishes a recurring pattern: Jacob pursues relationship, while Rachel’s focus is elsewhere.

2. The Wedding Night — Where Was Rachel?

Upon meeting his uncle Laban, Jacob was invited in to be a part of the family. Jacob was basically asked what he wanted in return.

Now Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.” And Laban said, “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to another man. Stay with me.” So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her. Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in to her.” And Laban gathered together all the men of the place and made a feast. Now it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter and brought her to Jacob; and he went in to her. And Laban gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah as a maid. So it came to pass in the morning, that behold, it was Leah. And he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why then have you deceived me?”

Genesis 29:18-25

The wedding deception is often framed solely as Laban’s sin, but the household’s collective silence is striking. It appears that every person in the village was in on this scheme. Jacob was clear on his desire to marry Rachel and no one else. Nothing was lost in translation. The key detail of mentioning that it was evening time clearly aided in the deception. But once again something is missing from the narrative. Where was Rachel? Culturally she was in full submission to her father. It has already been established that she was a “daddy’s girl.” But Scripture does not depict her warning Jacob, resisting the plan, or grieving after its execution. It does not take any mental gymnastics to conclude that Rachel was in on the plan. Not what one would expect for a girl in love.

3. Envy and Blame Over Relationship

After completing the seven-day wedding week for Leah, Jacob was then allowed to marry Rachel but then had to serve Laban seven more years. The next mention of Rachel in the Scripture is that she was barren, unable to bear children (Genesis 29:31). Then Leah starts to have children for Jacob. There were clearly still marital obligations to Leah on Jacob’s part despite him not loving her in the way he loved Rachel. This results in Leah having the first four sons of Jacob (Rueben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah). Then Rachel shows her true colors.

Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die!” And Jacob’s anger was aroused against Rachel, and he said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?

Genesis 30:1-2

The Hebrew term for envy (קָנָא – qana) denotes a consuming, jealous rivalry. Rachel’s anguish is first directed toward Leah, only second toward Jacob. And then, in the first recorded words Rachel ever spoke to Jacob, she is demanding, disrespectful, and exaggerative. This exchange does not sound like the definitive love story of the Bible. Jacob gets angry with her (justifiably so). To paraphrase, Jacob tells Rachel it is clearly not his fault that Rachel has not gotten pregnant. Four sons with Leah prove he is not infertile. Jacob indirectly tells Rachel to “take it up with God.” Does the Bible say that Rachel prayed and asked God to open her womb? She does not inquire of the Lord. Instead, she moves to solve her problems by mechanisms within her control.

4. Rivalry Over Intimacy

So she said, “Here is my maid Bilhah; go in to her, and she will bear a child on my knees, that I also may have children by her.”

Genesis 30:3

As if Jacob’s bedroom situation is not already complicated enough, Rachel adds to the chaos. This woman-made solution to the childbearing problem mirrors Sarah’s involvement of Hagar with Abraham earlier in the Bible narrative. Rachel’s concern is not covenantal unity but rivalry with her sister. It appears to me that Rachel sees Jacob as a means to an end. She wants children to compete with her sister more than she wants Jacob. Rachel was the first to bring yet another woman into the mix.

This giving of her handmaid to Jacob produces two sons (Dan and Naphtali). It also opened the door for Leah to do the same with her maid Zilpah, who produced two more sons (Gad and Asher). The main point of this story is not love and family and an effort to win the affections of Jacob. It is a catty, sibling rivalry between two sisters. Once again, where is Rachel’s devoted “love” toward Jacob? I don’t see it.

5. Willing to Trade Jacob for Mandrakes

Next in the narrative, we have the story of Rachel trading a night with Jacob to her sister.

Now Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”But she said to her, “Is it a small matter that you have taken away my husband? Would you take away my son’s mandrakes also?”And Rachel said, “Therefore he will lie with you tonight for your son’s mandrakes.”When Jacob came out of the field in the evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, “You must come in to me, for I have surely hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” And he lay with her that night.

Genesis 30:14-16

We don’t know exactly what these “mandrakes” were. Some Bibles translate the Hebrew word (דּוּדַי – duday) as “love apples.” Whether they were a root, fruit or flower, many scholars believe they were sought after for their benefits in fertility. This may explain Rachel’s great desire for them. Regardless of their medicinal benefits, Rachel wanted them more than she wanted to be with Jacob. Leah’s motivation is expressed in this passage. She accosts Rachel for “taking her husband.” Leah’s words reflect a desire to have Jacob as her husband. No such words ever come from Rachel.

The trade is made and Leah claims her prize. The night results in another son for Jacob (Isaachar). This also leads to another future conception for Leah, resulting in (Zebulon and Dinah).

Note: I believe Zebulon and Dinah were fraternal twins. The Bible specifies that Leah “conceived” before the birth of every son. It does not say she conceived a seventh time before mentioning Dinah.

Rachel’s desire for this material possession of “mandrakes” backfires in her rivalry with her sister. If someone truly loves another person, they will not trade them for anything. Rachel’s willingness to exchange her husband for an object speaks loudly to her motivations and desires.

6. Stealing the Household Idols

After Jacob served Laban for 14 years for his wives, Laban talked him into serving another six years for flocks and possessions. God then spoke to Jacob, telling him it was time to leave and return to his home. Because of the deception and conniving ways of Laban, Jacob decided to pack up and leave without saying goodbye. Jacob announces this plan to Leah and Rachel. Unbeknownst to Jacob, Rachel secretly stole the family idols that belonged to her father before leaving.

And Rachel had stolen the images that were her father’s.

Genesis 31:19

When Laban pursued Jacob and accused him of the theft, Jacob unknowingly cursed Rachel by proclaiming the thief was to die. When Laban searched for the idols among the tents of Jacob, Rachel concealed them by sitting on them and claiming it was her time of menstruation (It’s unknown if this was a lie or not).

It is believed these idols (teraphim) were household gods tied to inheritance, authority and protection. Apparently, these were more valuable to Rachel than honesty with her husband and loyalty to the God of her husband. Jacob followed the God of his fathers, Abraham and Isaac—the same God Who visited him at Bethel. What god does Rachel follow?

No other story gives this much insight into the motivations of Rachel. It’s one thing to be loyal to your father over the man who loves you or have a rivalry with your sister. It is another thing entirely to steal idols of other gods and lie to your husband and father about it. What is Rachel’s motivation here?

I don’t know how anyone can read this story and then go on to believe that “Jacob and Rachel” is the definitive love story of the Bible.

7. The Self-Centered Naming of Her Sons

The last thing I want to point out about Rachel has to do with the naming of her sons. As the story goes, Rachel does conceive and bear two sons for Jacob (we don’t know if the mandrakes helped). She has Joseph sometime toward the end of the 20 years that Jacob is serving Laban. Then after they return to the land of Jacob’s home, Rachel will die giving birth to Benjamin who she names Ben-oni as she is dying. If you take the meaning of the names of her sons (including the ones Bilhah bore for her), you can see her selfish motivations play out.

The first son Rachel got to name (from Bilhah) was Dan meaning judged saying “God has judged in my case” (Genesis 30:6). This was reflective of her rivalry with Leah, basically exclaiming that she had won something against her.

The second son of Bilhah was named Naphtali meaning prevailed. Rachel declared “With great wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister, and indeed I have prevailed.” (Genesis 30:6). Once again, this is entirely motivated by her heated conflict with her sister.

Then, when she had a son of her own she called him Joseph and proclaimed “Add to me!” (Genesis 30:24) As great as Joseph’s name is, Rachel still sounds very self-centered in her proclamation.

And, as she is dying in childbirth, she names her last son Ben-oni which means son of my sorrows. Jacob renames him Benjamin meaning son of my right hand (Genesis 35:18).

In all of these names, Rachel makes it all about herself. Even as she was dying, she was focused on her own sorrowful feelings.

Conclusion: Jacob, Rachel, God, and Us

Upon examination of every one of Rachel’s words and actions recorded in the entire Biblical narrative, you find a girl submitted to her father, competitive with her sister, argumentative with her husband, self-centered, materialistic, and a thieving idolator. Not once in the Bible is she ever portrayed as loving Jacob in the way that Jacob loved her.

Jacob’s love is:

Immediate — He sees Rachel once and is emotionally undone (Genesis 29:10–11)
Sacrificial — He commits to fourteen years of labor for her sake (Genesis 29:18, 27)
Enduring — His preference for Rachel continues throughout the marriage (Genesis 29:30)
Protective — He confronts Laban fiercely on her behalf and for the sake of his household (Genesis 31:31–42)
Grieving — He marks her grave and carries her memory long after her death (Genesis 35:19–20)

Even if Rachel didn’t reciprocate the same love back to Jacob, this does not necessarily make her wicked—it makes her profoundly human.

The purpose of this article is not to put down a matriarch of Israel. It is not to damage one’s view of love or the idealized version of this story. Its purpose is to raise a spiritual mirror.

She was loved deeply yet insecure. Chosen yet dissatisfied. Blessed yet fearful. She blamed others when God withheld, grasped for control through human systems, and clinged to idols even while journeying toward promise. Sound like anyone you know?

In this way, Rachel is a powerful representation of Israel. Israel repeatedly responds to divine delay with complaint, fear, and idolatry. Yet God’s covenant love remains steadfast. The story of Jacob and Rachel is not about romance. It is about covenant. Just as the covenant between God and Israel is fraught with Israel disobeying God, blaming God, and chasing after idols, God’s love endures everlastingly.

Jacob’s posture toward Rachel foreshadows God’s posture toward His people:

Love without reciprocity
Faithfulness without affirmation
Commitment without guarantee

God’s love does not waver.

“I have loved thee with an everlasting love.”

Jeremiah 31:3

Jacob’s unwavering devotion to Rachel becomes a living parable of God’s love for His people—The Messiah’s love for His bride. Not because she is faithful—but because He is. ■

Shalom,